Thursday, June 5, 2014

On Writing...

I've been writing a few things lately as the muse hits and wonder if you could take a look and give me a bit of a critique.  I know the self publishing people are every where, but I'm not sure I'm, well, good enough.  Be honest...how else will I learn?

1. She Awoke:

She awoke, with a feeling of dread.  Not fear, just a feeling that something was off.  “What the hell did I do last night?” She looked around and thought; “I’m in my bedroom. Am I alone?” She stretched out and felt the bed.  “Yes, very much alone.” But what was it, this feeling, and why have it in the first place?  And there it was, the dread, coming through the bedroom door.

“Morning.”  He said it as though he had been up for hours, all chipper and sunshiny.  “How are you feeling?”
“Uhnnn.  What time is it?”
“8:30 am” he said.  “Time to get outta bed and get moving.”
“WTF?” she thought. “What the hell is going on?”
“Can I ask a question?”
“Sure,” he said. “What’s up?”
“What are you doing in my bedroom?”
He looked at her funny.  “What do you mean? You’re the one that wanted to make a change and start anew.”
“Start anew?” Who the hell talks like that, she thought.  “When did I tell you this?  And what do you mean by start anew?  Was I drinking wine?  You know better than to listen to me when I drink wine!”
“Look, Sis; it’s time you get yourself together and do something about this life, or lack of a life, you seem to not be living.”
Brothers, sheesh!
And that's where it all began, the start of my new life. Let me go back a little bit in my "not living my life" story.  It started in the afternoon, on a Tuesday. It was a bright, sunshiny day and I was a miserable git.  I had just received a letter explaining the latest round of blood tests I had taken the following week.  Wasn’t great news, but it wasn’t too awful either. 


2. Snippets of Thoughts:

 Six word biography: Librarian, slightly torn, lover of words.

Thoughts: You know? It's like I've been holding my breath for the last two years waiting for something to happen.  What that could be, I don't know...yet...but it's time to move on and make things happen.  It's time to quit holding my breath.

3. This one is a little racy, you have been warned:

A Scene from a Bedroom...

He kisses me as he runs his hands through my hair, cupping the back of my neck. The kiss deepens and I move my hands around his wide shoulders. He pulls back, looks deeply into my eyes and smiles knowing I am his once again. He lowers his head to my neck, brushing my cheeks with his beard as he nuzzles and nibbles. My pulse is racing. God, I love this man with every fiber of my being. 

His hand moves along my back towards my breast, caressing as he goes. It is a light touch, for now. His kisses move lower to the V between my breasts. I feel his hands pulling the bottom of my shirt up, up and over my bra. He stops to cup my breasts through the material and run his thumbs over my nipples, feeling their taunt reaction to his touch.

The shirt is tossed carelessly to the floor as he fumbles with the catches on my bra and it soon follows. His hands are on me once again, flesh to flesh. He kisses me as his hands caress, cup, tease, and finally take my nipples between his fingers for a slight squeeze. They are erect and hard. My breasts swell and are full under his touch. 

Once again his mouth moves to my neck as he nuzzles and kisses his way down to my nipples. He takes one into his mouth and suckles. Slowly flicks his tongue and nibbles with his teeth. I gasp as he moves from one breast to the other always cupping and caressing one as he licks and sucks the other. It was pure heaven. I get lost in the sensations. I feel him hard against my belly as my hands work to free him from his clothes. I pull his shirt over his head and toss it to the pile of growing clothes on the floor. 

I run my hands over his shoulders and move my lips to his chest. Kissing and working my way from one nipple to the other...delighted when they harden under my touch. My hands unbuckle his belt and I kiss his belly. Moving down onto the edge of the bed, I undo the button on his jeans with my mouth. Slowly, ever so slowly, I unzip his pants with my teeth; brushing his heat and hardness. 

I reach up and begin to pull his pants down past his hips. I cup his ass and his pants drop to his ankles. I pull him closer and kiss his stomach again feeling his hardness between us. He is impressive. I can feel the heat from his body as I touch the tip of my tongue to his hard, throbbing manhood. He moans and grasps my head with his hands. I kiss and tongue my way down the shaft and back up, flicking my tongue across the tip as I reach the top. He pulls me up and kisses me again. 

We move to the bed and fall onto it, a tangle of arms and legs. He kisses me as he kicks his pants from his ankles. We laugh and kiss again. His hands move down my belly and he touches me tentatively. I groan as he rubs my clit between his fingers. His mouth is again on my breasts while he continues to rub. My hips buck uncontrollably as he brings me to climax. We kiss again, deeper and more urgent as he climbs between my legs. I am wanting him inside me and move so that we are touching...feeling each others heat. 

He enters me, one excruciating slow inch at a time and I moan at how good this feels. My hips arch to meet him and draw him in deeper. He pumps, once, twice and stops while still inside me. He grips my hips and kisses me hard. Growls in my ear as he thrusts into me deeper than ever before. He laughs, knowing I never want him to stop. He moves again, slow at first and then faster as my hips meet him thrust for thrust. We moan and meet, rocking into a crescendo that releases all the anger, hurt, and pent up frustration from the previous days. We climax together with a moan and collapse with exhaustion.

We don't or can't move for a few minutes, panting while we catch our breath. He kisses me and quickly moves to the bathroom to shower leaving me wet, cold, and alone once again. I turn to my side and softly begin to cry. 

Well, there ya have it.  A bit scared to put myself out there and see what you will think...